I’m A Grown Man!

When I was a kid, I hated tomatoes. One memory I have (sorry, Mom) is being forced to eat the tomatoes that had mysteriously made it onto my plate. “But I’ll throw up if I try to eat the tomato!” I protested. “If you throw it up, I’ll spank you,” my Dad may or may not have said.

Well, I tried it. And didn’t keep it down. I’m pretty sure my backside hurt afterward.

Over the years, my tomato aversion had garnered many a “What?!?” response from my tomato farmer brother-in-law. “Can I get a cheeseburger, hold the tomato?” “What?!?” I mean, he’d eat them fresh from the field like apples. Chomp. (Ew!) Even my beloved wife hails the glories of a tomato sandwich - nothing but bread, mayo, and thick slices of tomato. No thanks.

Tomatoes on burgers? Nope! Stewed tomatoes? Never in a million years! These days, I’ve graduated to finely chopped tomatoes, a delightful part of pico de gallo. But keep them small. Please.

When I’m invited to try something “new” like mushrooms, sardines, or beef tongue, a simple “I’m a grown man” is my refusal. I don’t always feel like an adult, but whipping out that line comes in handy! As we raise our kids, we don’t let them get off easy. On those rare moments when they complain about an ingredient we’ve put on their plates, we hold firm. “This is what we’re eating. You at least need to try several bites.” Or “You can eat it now hot, or later cold as a snack. But I prefer my food hot.”

The phrase “I’m a grown man” works because I’ve tried tomatoes and other foods I currently avoid. But that phrase can be a trap in other areas. An insidious TRAP!

Like in worship leading.

“Here, try this capo/tuner/metronome.” “I don’t need to. I’m a grown man.”

“I really like that Rivers and Robots song. Can we try it?” “I don’t need to. I’m a grown man.”

“Can we try this new idea?” “I don’t need to. I’m a grown man.”

“Can we let that college student lead?” “I don’t need to. I’m a grown man.”

My tongue is sitting in my cheek, but you get the point. Our way of saying “I’m a grown man” is typically much more subtle and sophisticated. “I don’t think that’d be best,” or “I don’t think the Lord is leading us to do that,” “Maybe sometime,” or “I’m just not sure about that right now.”

We can get to a place where we’re not trying new things, not being uncomfortable, because we know a thing or two, because we paid our dues, because we are tired, scared, unfamiliar, or just not into the next generation of…anything!

But that’s a trap!

Stay curious. Keep learning. Maintain flexibility. Wonder. Adventure. Experiment. Keep trying when you are 90% sure it’ll fail. Walk in faith. Take risks.

Scripture says it this way: Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matthew 18:3)

Not childish. Please, we have enough of that already! But childlikeness is beautifully refreshing.

In fact, what would it look like for you to approach this month of leading worship rejecting that internal “I’m a grown man!” with “I wonder what the possibilities of that idea are?” Hey, try something new. Do something you’re not good at or don’t like but feel would be good for you.

The bottom line is this. If you think and sound like an old man (in the negative sense), you’ll only notice you fit the description long after others have figured that out.

And, of course, I also include “I’m a grown woman,” but I’m writing from my perspective and don’t want it to get cumbersome to read.

-Dave Helmuth
(purchase my book, "Worship Fertilizer: (the first hundred)" HERE)

I’m A Grown Man (Nº 393)