Seeds Of Nearness
One of my life scriptures is Psalm 73. The last verse is a favorite. “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.”
No word describes my desire for intimacy with the Father than “nearness.” I pray this for you and me!
I want to share a few moments where I’ve noticed God planting “seeds of nearness” in my heart. I hope you can trace the same in your life and be encouraged to continue looking for more.
Corporate worship at Covenant Church of San Antonio
I was thirteen years old in the mid-eighties. We occasionally attended the church that hosted my middle school, and something beautiful would happen during the singing. As the song would wind down, the voices would begin to rise in spontaneous song.
I felt holy awe as the hearts raised in song led us to an increased awareness that God is indeed with us. These experiences planted two great loves in me - the people’s song and intimacy in worship.
Kent’s “simple love and pure devotion to Jesus”
When I was first leading worship, I soaked up everything Kent Henry put out - annual conferences, weekend seminars anywhere in Texas, Psalmist magazine, and Expressions of Praise cassettes. I even slept in my car to go to a weekend seminar once. I remember going into a diner in the morning to “freshen up.”
At one of his annual conferences in St. Louis, MO, he said, “What the church in America always needs more of is simple devotion to Jesus.” My heart responded with yes after yes after yes! So much so that it got woven into Ad Lib Music’s mission statement: “In simple love and pure devotion to Jesus, we are eradicating isolation and burnout so that leaders bear much fruit.”
“Tender Moments” song
I was on staff at ACTS Covenant Fellowship in Lancaster, PA. We had a leadership team for the Ministry of Worship Arts and would go away for an annual planning retreat. One year, the subject of our retreat was intimacy. We studied, reflected, and sang about growing closer with the Lord.
I was so impacted as a late twenty-something that I wrote a song on the way from that retreat to a general church retreat. Yes, while driving. Alone. I’ll share the lyrics with you.
CHORUS
(I take) passionate, revealing, tender moments with You.
VERSE 1
Gazing at a Love so fair, I come close to You
Intimacy beyond compare,
I am lost in love with You.
Giving You all I dare, I come close to You
now my soul, it is laid bare
I am lost in love taking...
VERSE 2
Like a lover unaware, I come close to You.
What surrounds me, I don’t care
I am lost in love with You.
Drawn by Your holy care, I come close to You.
passion, it holds me in Your stare
I am lost in love taking...
The Attic Poster Boards
Later, during that same season at ACTS, I began a discipline of praying in my attic. It had a room with nothing except old, dusty wooden floors and a window. At church, we were in a season of concerted prayer where we would commit to praying for an hour a day for six weeks. This started a habit that lasted quite some time.
I would pace back and forth, talking and listening to God. I put poster boards on the walls and kept a Sharpie so that when I sensed something from the Lord, I’d write it down to continue praying over it. Things like:
Dave, your steps are ordered by the Lord, so just walk!
God, snuff out my illusion of ownership and control.
One by one, God is stripping away everything I relied on.
In my weakness, He is strong. Get used to being weak.
You delight in me. You love me. I trust You.
Lean close & listen.
Noah: “Let’s plant these trees because in 50 years they’ll be big enough to use as sails” – a project that took 120 years to complete—a vision, a promise…with patience and endurance.
Am I walking like I know Your love?
You are determined to have me.
God declared war on my character flaws…and He will complete the work.
The affection runs deep.
Be it unto me according to Your word…let there be a performance of that which was spoken, for nothing is impossible with God!
The Wake-Up Call
I had a TIA, like a mini-stroke, a year ago. I don’t have any adverse effects from it, by the gracious goodness of God. It felt like a very kind wake-up call from Him. However, I have occasionally struggled with anxiety since then. He has taught me much in this process, but one of the sweetest things has been walking and talking with God out loud while I move several piles of firewood from the lane to the back of the cabin.
Sure, I could load them all up in a trailer and finish it quickly, but that’s not the point. I love spending this time in conversation with the Father as He clarifies my thinking, teaches my heart, and encourages my soul. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Upper Room
I wrote about the Upper Room a few months ago: https://www.adlibmusic.com/worship-fertilizer/384. I want to recapture an old storage room to use as an upper room where we can meet, pray, and worship. I believe God is calling me to begin early morning prayer to build this place in the spirit before using it in the natural. It’s like another invitation to a season in the attic I mentioned above. I’m sharing this with you because I want accountability - ask me about this in the weeks ahead, will ya?
I know this Fertilizer was a bit long, but I wanted to give you some pictures from my life so you have a clearer vision of nearness with God in yours.
If you want to listen to a talk I gave at Spruce Lake in May 2023 on this topic, you can listen here or, if you’d rather, here’s a video I shared at ACTS: https://youtu.be/VOxf3uP6zCs
-Dave Helmuth
(purchase my book, "Worship Fertilizer: (the first hundred)" HERE)
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