I Wish I Would’ve Known
I was a little naughty.
My college roommate, Troy, was visiting me in Pennsylvania from his home in North Carolina. I had just started getting to know a cute girl (who I later married.) I wanted my friend to meet her in a low-key, secret-shopper way. At the time, she managed the toy department at ABC Groff, her family’s farm equipment dealership. So I asked Troy to walk in, meander around, and notice the girl behind the counter.
I don’t remember if he bought anything, but he did have some interaction with her. I do remember how mad she was when I confessed what I’d done. But hey, people in love do stupid things.
My friendship with Troy began when I was invited to share an apartment with three other guys during my second year of college. Our friendship became permanent when I tasted his bread…or anything else he made.
Troy was in my wedding party, where he had to confess to Heather his little “meeting” in the toy department a few years earlier. We only spoke a few times in the 19 years since, but each call felt like no time had passed. He was one of those treasured friends.
Last week, I found out he’d been battling pancreatic cancer for 18 months, was in hospice, and then sailed into the arms of Jesus on Friday night. All this news hit me in one day.
As my mind and heart reeled, I kept wishing, oh so wishing, that I would’ve known! And I get it: not everyone wants to share details about their health battles. I think there’s a certain level of shame or guilt that comes even from illnesses. And I certainly don’t hold even an ounce of ill toward him for not sharing with me. I still wish I would’ve had the gift of walking alongside him, albeit from a distance.
I feel similarly when a church calls us in after they’ve lost their worship leader. I wish I would’ve known! Why didn’t they reach out when they were struggling? I would’ve loved to walk alongside them! Why is it so hard for us to allow others into our journey and struggle?
God designed us to carry one another’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2) I’m not blind to the reality that our team of Ad Lib coaches charges for the services we provide. And rightly so. But the heart behind it all is that no worship leader ever has to walk alone. The stakes are too high.
If you’re a worship leader struggling, about to give up, or feeling a bit pointless, reach out to somebody. Don’t walk alone.
-Dave Helmuth
(purchase my book, "Worship Fertilizer: (the first hundred)" HERE)
I Wish I Would’ve Known (Nº 405)
