Loving Your Team (Even When You Don’t Particularly Like Them)
You may be in one of those glorious seasons where you click with everyone on your team. Or you may feel so very alone, leading a group of people you wish were strangers to you.
How do you go about “Loving your team... Even when you don’t particularly like them,” one worship leader confessed?
Since my natural Shepherd fader is… the lowest of all of them, I’ve found two friends as resources to answer this question.
And it’s a super-important question because one of the primary ways your team will know the love of God is through your love for them! Your primary role in their lives is to show them the Father through your expressions of love toward them.
My friend Mark at First Loved Ministries puts it this way:
People who are loved well, love well. In scripture, we see this truth exemplified in the life and work of Jesus as he first loved his people and then sent them out to love others. Near the end of his ministry, at the event that came to be known as the “Last Supper,” Jesus says to his friends, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35 NIV) The “new” part of this command is the “how” part: “As I have loved you.” At First Loved Ministries, we believe that to love people the way Jesus loves people, we have to be loved by Jesus first.
1 John 4:19 reads: We LOVE because He first LOVED us. So we must pursue experiences of being personally loved by Jesus. You can find some of Mark’s resources here.
So step one in loving your team is to receive the love of Jesus personally. So you can know how to love others.
Step two is to understand your role as a team leader.
My friend Linden was the worship leader in the room representing the Shepherd when the Five Faders concept was birthed. Here’s some of how he thinks about this question.
There is undoubtedly value in worship team cohesion and unity. However, that does not mean everyone has to enjoy each other’s company. As a worship leader, you will encounter many different personality types, worship styles, and approaches to making music. You are not expected to like everyone you work with.
However, as a worship leader, you must serve as a leader and mentor to those in your charge. God has called you to play a part in the life of your team members. Fulfilling the role you have been called into is an expression of God’s love to them. If you have been called into leadership, part of your job is to help those you serve become better in their skills and worship leading. You don’t need to focus on their personality flaws or annoying habits. To love them is to encourage them in the skills they have been given and to challenge them to achieve even greater levels of excellence.
Suppose the unlikable characteristics of a team member negatively impact the team as a whole or the audience you are serving. In that case, you will need to dive deeper into those areas of concern. However, the approach must always stay within the purpose and calling that has brought the team together in the first place: To see the body of Christ edified and to bring glory to His name.
Beautifully freeing and challenging, isn’t it? You don’t have to like them to love them.
Like one of the goals of marriage, one of the functions of being in leadership is to develop you. God designs your particular environment (church and team) to rub off the rough edges to build your character. So go to Him to receive your love and affirmation, and then love and affirm your team with the same Spirit.
-Dave Helmuth
(purchase my book, "Worship Fertilizer: (the first hundred)" HERE)
Loving Your Team (Even When You Don’t Particularly Like Them) (Nº 346)
